Battling

Dori is in the most critical part of her battle, according to Dr. Greer this morning.

This weekend has been hell for Dori ... she is coughing up bloody phlegm and having trouble with dry blood causing severe congestion; she is queasy and occasionally sick, and her mouth and stomach are sore. She hasn't had solid foods since last week; her IV of nutrition is hooked up, but she did need an insulin shot last night to help processing. She's at Day Plus 12 since the bone marrow transplant, and has at least another week of this until engraftment. It is difficult to watch, so much so that we're discouraging visitors and that means the kids, too, unfortunately.

Most folks who know Dori well would barely recognize her right now. She is puffy all over and barely and rarely opens her eyes. She still hasn't complained a lick. Women are so much stronger than men. That is now clear to me. My greatest concern is Dori getting up on her own while she's so heavily medicated. She already fell last week, and is wobbly when she gets up to go the bathroom. Last night, she got up five times, two times without alerting me. Since I'm "sleeping" with one eye open, I immediately bounced up both times to escort her. She simply cannot fall right now.

To say all of this wears on you is an understatement. At some point, I'm going to have a good cry ... and down the road, hopefully a good laugh. I am forever grateful to the positive reassurances and support we're getting from expected and unexpected places. Our family members have been terrific, to no one's surprise; our friends, new and longtime, are stepping up with our children and by watching Dori this week.

I didn't really want to chronicle all this, but I felt I should for one reason ... that we can look back on this with clarity to recall what we endured and to live out our lives with zeal to fulfill His expectations. Dori is simply enduring hell on earth to get to a better place.