Dori is feeling much better and learned yesterday she's still 100% donor DNA. She trained this morning for her upcoming half marathon, walking in unseasonably warm weather. It may top 60 today. She'll receive the Vidaza treatments next Monday through Friday, one week after they were scheduled.
I'm in between kids' basketball games, and may actually ride the bike after a five-miler with Pepper late yesterday. I didn't run Monday through Thursday, still lethargic from "the crud." Last night's run was worth the wait and couldn't have been more timely. I had a rough week.
I'm realize I'm not going to be appreciated much the next few years. I remember how much of a pain I was from age 13 to 16. I thought the world owed me something. No one around me was perfect, certainly, but my approach didn't make things better. I took awhile to mature, 15 years frankly to cover all bases.
I'm learning what it's like to be on the other side of this. It's hard, doesn't seem rewarding, and sometimes leads to frustration. Part of it is emerging from a challenging three years of dealing with cancer. More of it, however, is just being a parent dealing with our childrens' transition from adolescence to [fill in unflattering Noun of the Day here].
I needed to vent, and did earlier this week. I may have said a few words I shouldn't have, but I did get some things on the table. I was honest, raw and emotional. I think it helped, but it isn't something I want to do again soon. Nor does my family. But it came to a point where I had to make things clear - I'm not just a dad trying to provide but a person with feelings.
One pounding thought all week was, "When do I get time for just me?" The constant feeling of having to be somewhere in 15 minutes can be taxing, especially if I don't get to run or do something different every so often.
The good news? Dori and I have a date night tonight and the house to ourselves. I'm feeling mighty fine about that.
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Hello from Jim
Welcome to my blog, Run for Dori. My wife, Dori, passed away in June 2011 from leukemia (AML) after a determined four-year battle. Please consider supporting several programs (listed below) dedicated to finding a cure for blood cancers and assisting patients and families. Please consider registering with the National Marrow Donor Program that helped save her life in 2007.
Dori July 2010
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About Me
- Jim
- Nashville, Tennessee
- Father to two exceptional children: Kathryn and Will. Work in public policy and advocacy. Enjoy running, the outdoors, Vanderbilt sports, music, reading and making a difference for people.
2 comments:
After my own extreme experience living with a teenager after transplant #2, I can only wonder how some people manage to survive to adulthood. Hang in there, it's just hormones and growing pains. You and Dori have laid a solid foundation for your kids. Don't forget yourself in the shuffle. It's important that you carve out some time for yourself. Hope you guys had a lovely Saturday night.
Jim, I realized the older I got the wiser my parents and grandparents became. Their advice was consistent and constant. The only change mine: maturity.
As far as having some time to yourself, thank goodness you resort to exercise and minimal alone time. Too often people discover self time through alcohol or chemicals, zoning out instead of just stepping away for a few moments. Stick to your guns: demand bike or jogging time. It may benefit four people and a dog.
I am not a parent, but I was a teenager. Hormones, testing boundaries, stress from the last three years are converging for Showdown on Belmont Park Terrace, ha. Beneath all the yelling and growing are good kids, Jim. You and Dori have done well so far, I expect more of the same.
Now go and break out the Barry White CD for date night.
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