Monday, May 18, 2009

Threat Management

We're always on our toes around here, thanks (or no thanks) to blood cancer. The last 10 days haven't been any different. Dori has had lower energy and a persistent cough for more than a week. Given Dori's recent history, we tend to start wondering, "Is it back?" Add in that some of our friends have relapsed or wondered if they're relapsing, and well, you get the picture.

At my urging, Dori finally called Vanderbilt late last week and went in to get swabbed. She tested without a hint of a virus, which sounds good but isn't. We like to know Dori has a virus, not a return of leukemia. Dori's nurse practitioner prescribed an anti-viral anyway, just in case they were missing something and to give her a boost against her cough. Her energy slowly returned, a good sign, but the cough remains.

Today, Vanderbilt called to tell her she's been fighting a flu strain (para influenza Number 3). That's great news. What isn't good is how I've handled the whole thing. I've lost my patience a few times with the kids, especially Kathryn. Honestly, some days I reach my limit with the threat of relapse and managing people's emotions, including my own. Add in kids doing what you've asked them not to do a half dozen times, and the steam valve's gonna go off. Frankly, I probably did a better job managing it all two years ago when the threat was real.

Some of you may be thinking Jim needs a vacation. That would be true. Work has been intense for a few months now, and it looks like I have another three weeks or so of buckling down. What I really need, though, is to recognize better when the teapot is heating fast and to remove it from the burner before another whistle.


Ronni Gordon said...

Those fears of relapse are really hard to shake. Glad it was just the flu. As for being short-tempered with the kids, sounds like just by recognizing it and writing about it, you've gone a long way towards modulating your emotions.

Ann said...

Yay for the flu! I never thought that I'd be cheering for a virus. As for the rest of it, JB, you're human and you've been under a great deal of stress these last few years. We all have limits and sometimes do things that we regret. Having been the patient, I've seen how the threat of this disease wears on Chris even to this day.

Just know that Dori has a wonderful husband, and the kids have an amazing father. You had a bad day and it's behind you. Big hugs to you and the family.

geminirorie said...

hey i like this article because it talk about cancer and me being in 8th grade understands how bad it is but still we disnt find a cure for it but i hope one day we do but my grand mother died from it so its really hard to talk about