Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Taking It On

I'm in a much better place now than last week. I couldn't smile or laugh much. Didn't want to even try.

But time, friends and perspective tend to heal the mind. The shock is gone, and the routine is here. Dori is doing well, and that's a huge help. She's asking about everyone, exercising and eating very well. Despite her fatigue, she's engaged. Her sister Kathy's presence has been a huge help.

I've picked up my running and reading. I ran 15 miles last week, and completed a six-miler Sunday in 92 degrees in Percy Warner Park (the hills were tough but the shade helped). I'm on my fourth book since vacation ended a few weeks ago, back when life was calm. I'm planning to run another marathon in December, and have alerted some running friends to let me know about early morning runs.

Dori insisted the kids go to Gilda's Club Monday night. She brought up the topic at least five times, and so, we went to Gilda's. The kids enjoyed it. I did, too, though I felt zapped when I got home. I won't mention names, but the group was amazingly brave and the discussion was no-holds barred. I listened to a cancer survivor who's getting divorced, a breast cancer survivor, a man whose wonderful wife recently passed away, a husband who is battling melanoma and his wife, a woman whose husband recently passed from colorectal cancer, the husband of a surviving wife who's battled a rare cancer, a woman whose young son's leukemia is in remission, a lymphoma survivor and his wife, and a dear petite lady who has been through so much chemo and radiation but has no fear and her husband. Her courage and talk of her walk with our Lord inspired me.

Gilda's Club, in a nutshell, reminds us we're not alone. I had upbringing that sent mixed messages on handling trouble. Camp One said problems are not to be discussed (keep your privacy, avoid any potential embarrassment or weakness exposure, etc.), while Camp Two said put things on the table.

Obviously, I picked the latter, and thank God I did, given what's been going on in my life. I'm not into the touchy feely so much, though I can go there. I'm more into being frank, candid, honest and real.

And that's where I've been the last week - getting back into the routine I didn't want and being honest with myself and others. This whole thing sucks, but I'm working to get back into shape and face it.

4 comments:

lcreekmo said...

Bless all your hearts. Jim, you are a rock for your family but you are right -- you gotta put it out there!

Keep up the fight day to day. Holler when you need us. We're out here.

Beth Stange said...

Jim,

I'm so sorry that you all are having to go through this again. Dori has been such an inspiration to me (and to so many others). Stay strong and keep that positive attitude. She will beat this!

-Beth Stange

PJ said...

Just catching up on your blog, Jim. As hard as it is, Dori's getting on with treatment is a good thing--beat that blasted thing and let the healing begin. I know you'll find solace in your running, and this in turn will help you help Dori even more. I'm thinking about you, my friend, and your wonderful kids. Please tell Dori I admire her .

kayjaydun said...

I found this link through another Glida's member on facebook. It was an honor meeting you at the kids support reunion. I too was raised with the everything is fine status. I came to Gilda's for the Kid's Support because my kids needed help dealing with my illness. I laugh at that now that I realize that I was the one that really needed help. It is a great comfort to know that you are not alone in your thoughts, fears and hopes. Every moment is another chance to make a great memory. Make as many unforgetable ones that you can.
Karen Duncan