Thursday, April 17, 2008

Honoring My Mom

Check out Dori's new haircut. Natalie Portman, stand aside. When I arrived home last night, some of Dori's head coverings were in the trash. The other photo of the kids is from a baseball game I'll soon describe. I love those young smiles.

A friend in my profession, who has been kind to check up regularly about Dori, asked me if I was OK the other day. I answered honestly, "No, not really." I told him about Robin Groff and how painful it was for Dori and me to hear the news of her death. When it comes down to it, I read the tribute postings to Robin, which were amazing, and couldn't stop imagining they were talking about Dori. It's made this week mystical, almost foggy. I've lacked my usual snap and haven't had as much confidence in what I'm doing. The last few days have been better, but the early part of this week was tough.

My mother and I had a great talk last night. I was over at her house to unload some new furniture for Dan, who had successful hip replacement surgery and is beginning a long recovery. Over a beer, I wound up unloading much more. Mom and I chatted for an hour about heavy stuff - mostly about relationships and loved ones. I told her how Dori and I feel so grateful to be where we are after Dori's bone marrow transplant, but intimated how we are continually dealing with the threat of potential relapse. People who really know me know I don't like the word "hate," but I hate leukemia.

The hour went by in a minute. At the end of the visit, I told her some things I don't share enough with her - how proud I am of her, how grateful I am for all her sacrifices and how much I credit her for my own success. My Mom isn't perfect; no mother is. But she's keenly aware of all that surrounds her, and I like how she looks at life. I owe her so much, just like I owe Dori.

Tuesday night was special with the kids at the Vanderbilt-Lipscomb baseball game. The whole time, I was filled with admiration of Kathryn and Will, who spent several innings joyfully tossing a foul ball that Will had snagged. Later, Kathryn and I snuggled in the cool air, while Will did what boys do - watched baseball and tracked other foul balls. He wound up with two, both of which were autographed after the game by many of the players and Coach Tim Corbin. He recognized Will, looked for me and then asked again about Dori. What a good person he is.

Last night, I decided to test my fitness on a long run through Radnor. My goal was to assess if I should enter the Country Music Half Marathon, with an entry dealine looming Friday night. So I headed out for 10 plus miles, settling on about a 9:15/mile pace over mostly flat terrain. Conditions were terrific ... probably 68 degrees and low humidity. I felt as good at mile 10 as I did at miles six and three. My last mile was probably an 8:30, and I had some energy left, too. Soreness today was minimal, thanks to some new Brooks, good stretching and the speed work on Sunday. Speed work can be tough, but the benefits are amazing.

Tick, tock, tick, tock. Do I enter the race? Clearly, I can run it and not embarass myself. The positives are I could find some race partners pretty easily because I know a lot of folks who are running. That would be fun. If the conditions are good, I probably could set a course record, but a personal record would be tough since it's hillier than the Tom King. I thought about running for Robin. That would be special. The downside? My body is saying "no" most days and my mind isn't arguing. I have no real objective. I'm not fired up to run if it's warm. Yada yada yada.

I'm being a wuss, really. The plan is to look at the latest long-range forecast tomorrow and make a decision.


Summer said...

I DO love the haircut. So cute!!!

Lots of Hammock folks are running (and walking), and we'll even have a cheer/snack station set up on 16th. So if you do decide to jump in, look for some friendly and encouraging faces there!!!

pj said...


Thanks for your comment on my blog. I see from reading a number of your entries that you like to run and that your kids run. That's something we have in common, other than the Beast. Tell your wife she looks great with her short do.