Saturday, February 16, 2008

Heading Home

We're still at the clinic, but heading home soon. There was some discussion this morning from Dr. Greer and the nurse practitioner about checking Dori back in to 11 North. The hair on my head, what little is left, practically stood up when I heard that.

Dori is finishing up some magnesium, after accepting a big bag of fluids this morning. No diarrhea today so far, and she ate part of my apple cinnamon scone, which she kept down. That was very good news. Dori is exhausted from the phenigren (sp), which she's taking for nausea.

Since her adrenal glands aren't kicking in like ours would, she's going to take a small dose of steroids for four days. Fine ... as long as she takes it at home. I really like the nurses and staff on 11 North, but I never, ever want to see them again on the job. At the mini-mart, grocery or department store ... that's great.

We need to keep Dori moving forward to a normal life, or something closely resembling it. The experts said and textbooks noted that this ordeal would be a long haul with ups and downs. Reading and understanding that are different than experiencing it. The last two days have been hard on her, and hard on me, too. I know we've been at this for eight months now, but I am losing my concept of time. That's never been an issue for me, except on long deployments at sea. I've lost my patience more lately and have some other feelings simmering. I've had a lot thrown at me since June and handled it well for the most part, just like Dori. But occasionally, I don't. Mostly, I am forward-thinking (optimistic, think of the future, cherish every day, etc.), but these past few days I've been off track, reflecting on what I used to have. That's selfish, and I know it.

Times like these call for asking God to restore inner peace. Temporal weakness and fleeting anxiety make us human. Something else I know - I need to focus more on the example set by the Ultimate Role Model.

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