Monday, March 3, 2008

Trying Few Days

Today's blog is brought to you by the virtue, Patience, and by that nemesis, Exasperation. Adult Sesame Street, eh?

Tonight, Kathryn said, "The last few days, it seems like God reached into a top hat and pulled out good days and bad days for Mom." That's pretty astute analysis from a smart nine-year-old. Dori had a good day today, but the weekend wasn't much fun. Dori got sick twice and really felt lethargic. Her shoulders are sore and feet puffy, but she never spiked a fever. She could be having some GVHD issues, but thankfully, today was much calmer.

The rollercoaster of recovery is far better than battles of earlier times. But it still isn't easy. Always lingering in your mind is the thought, "Where are we going now?" Immediately, that's punctuated by, "Hopefully, not the %#*& hospital." Dori had to let it out this weekend with a good cry ... she's been a great trooper, but sometimes the bubbles leave the boiling pot of spaghetti. And that's a good thing ... holding percolating emotion inside isn't therapeutic.

Yesterday, Dori asked me, after I was pretty silent for a few hours, if I was upset at her. She misread my silence for another emotion - my infrequent but sometimes apparent exasperation that we're still dealing with a whole lot of something. Dori and I are ready to put this behind us and have normalcy. We have been since June, in fact.

The kids and I had another nice time at the VU game Sunday, but I thought often that Dori wasn't with us. She says she just isn't there yet. I understand it because I see it. She'll be ready when she's ready, and that's the patience part.

Before yesterday's game, I ran two miles at the park with Pepper while the kids rode their scooters. The weather was incredible ... 75 degrees. The run wasn't so incredible; it felt like a prize fight without the Rocky music. I had nothing in the tank after Saturday's 11 plus ... I'm sure my running looked broken. But, hey, I was running after an 11 miler!

Dori and I are still scouting around for a beach house this summer. It also looks like we'll spend a few days in Florida with her Dad and StepMom Carol over Spring Break. In addition to celebrating the Holy Weekend, I could use some time out of town doing nothing but dropping a fishing line in a large ocean while squeezing a lime in a beer.

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