Sunday, December 28, 2008

A Lot on My Mind

I don't like when Dori and the kids leave town. They've been in Ohio visiting Dori's Mom, Dori's sister Kathy and husband Nathan, and their two great kids. I know they're having fun. Down here in Tennessee, I'm lonely.

I like being with my dog and knowing where the remote control is, but other than that, living solo doesn't have many benefits. The house is dead quiet. Kathryn isn't playing the piano. Dori isn't cooking or getting something in order. Will isn't shooting baskets outside. I miss them. It sucks.

Thankfully, I have family closeby. My step-Dad, Dan, helped me clear dead trees and limbs for 90 minutes yesterday morning. My sister, Anne, and I hiked five miles at Radnor Lake yesterday afternoon, and I joined her and husband Stephen for dinner last night. Dinner was spectacular ... grilled chicken, a parmesan polenta, baked tomatoes and zucchini in bread crumbs, EVOO and parmesan, and grilled Tuscan bread. The accompanying wine, a 2005 Gabbiano Chianti Classico, was the prefect complement. I will tell you something Anne doesn't know yet ... she will be cooking the exact same meal before my next race. Here's why.

That meal was great fuel. I ran eight fast, very easy miles this morning at Percy Warner Park in perfect conditions. I started on the 5.8-mile loop. The hills looked flat today, and I took them with ease. I felt so good at the end I had to keep going, so I added another 2.2 and ran it at an 8:00/mile pace. I could have run faster and longer, but I decided not to push it. It's been awhile since I ran a middle distance.

On the run, I thought about Ronni Gordon, who announced on her blog she has relapsed. I told Dori about this before she left for Ohio, and she just cried. I was angry and still am. Real angry. I think regularly about the possibility Dori could relapse. It doesn't dominate my thoughts, but it's always there. It's not negative thinking; it's just something I continually process. Usually, I finish with positive thoughts, like "Jim, you need to keep living in the moment. Live now. Cherish every day, every moment. Now go do it." When I read Ronni's entry, it just slapped me. How do you process that? It's not easy, but you just do ... eventually.

Today's run helped me with my loneliness and my anger about Ronni's relapse. At the park entrance, I saw my friend, Chuck Hargrove, who had just finished the 11.2 loop with some friends. Chuck, always nice and complimentary, asked me when I'll be running my first full marathon. This summer somewhere up north, I said. For now, I'm looking forward to more good weather and more good runs like today, as well as my family back in our house safe and sound.


PJ said...

I too channel my anger about people like Ronni's struggles into my running. Why her? Why anyone? Since I don't know the answer to that, I just keep running down the road trying to get to that zen-like place where the answers don't matter so much.

I love your food descriptions!

ChuckEastNashville said...


What a pleasant surprise this was, seeing you Sunday at Warner Park. You owned that park and Belle Meade Boulevard. Tammy and Mark enjoyed meeting you. Look for Tammy at Fleet Feet when you need running shoes. Happy New Year.

Ann said...


I just wanted to wish you, Dori and the kids a wonderful New Year. Here's to many more positive milestones in 2009.

Jim said...

Happy New Year, Ann and friends! We're looking forward to many more positive milestones for all of you.