Tuesday, July 17, 2007

New shoes, new attitude

It is amazing what a new pair of shoes can do for you. Yesterday, I bought a pair of Asics Gel shoes for $120, which is on the higher end for me. I am so glad I did.

Today, I ran nine miles on the treadmill in 1:21:14, or a 9:01 pace. No blisters, no fatigue, just the normal feeling when you run a good nine miles. Two days ago, I felt fatigued and pained as I ran down the boulevard. Yesterday was a day of much soreness and even mild doubt about my training. Today, I am actually looking forward to running again. My body is thanking me for spending the extra $30 on good shoes. My attitude has changed for the better.

So what's the hardest part about watching a loved one battle leukemia? It's not watching your wife go through chemo. It's not even the anxiety of waiting for biopsy results, though that is high up the list. The hardest part has been wanting to be two places at once, but having no control over it.

Separation - either from Dori and the kids - has been very hard. Since June 15, I have been with one or the other, but rarely with both. I very much want to be in both places, comforting Dori and leading the kids. I'm not a micro-manager, but I do want to be able to respond when needed. My family has ably helped out, but it doesn't replace the feelings I have. Most of you know the hardest part of this ordeal for Dori has been separation from the kids and not being home. Yes, the uncertainty of all of this is big, but that is in God's hands (we are playing to win and trust Him). The earthly part of this can be a pisser when you love three people so much.

I better not end on that note. So here's something positive ... my friends at work have been great. Yesterday, two great NFIB-ers, Judy Parsons and Valerie Nagoshiner, delivered a care basket of goodies for Dori, me and the kids. Looks like a lot of folks in Marketing, Public Policy and Media contributed. I've also received some nice calls from leaders within the organization lately. Thanks to all of you for your love, prayers and support.

Jim

1 comment:

Anne Blair Brown said...

Jimmy, your new shoes have prompted me to channel Marcheschi- Baby, I-I-I can't wait...
I know you are running around like a chicken so I thought I'd blog(or whatever the hell you kids are calling this newfangled communication) and not call. Please let me know if you need anything-a hug, a lunch date, someone to sit with Dori even if to watch her sleep...anything.
I love you.
Little Sister